Finding the perfect time to write these is always gonna be hard, my mood will obviously effect the ‘tone’ of the post and what I’m saying, but I want these updates to be a real insight- not just my current mood.
My last mental health update was written just after I’d attempted an overdose (which is now over a year ago) and you can find that here if you want to give it a read. My mental health has been quite up and down since that point, nothing too scary but my road to recovery is obviously a rocky one.
The day after my overdose attempt I visited my lovely GP, who suggested doubling my Fluoxetine for the time being may help my low mood. So at that point, I was taking 40mg a day, which was quite a scary amount for me considering I’d started on only 5mg daily. I stayed on this dose until about November, in which I dropped back to 20mg and then in January of this year I came off my medication cold turkey style (not recommended).
Although I’d come off my medication in the probably the worst way possible I was doing okay, I had good and bad days but mostly good. I would have occasional evenings where I would just cry, at nothing in particular, I just felt sad.
More recently I found myself having more bad days than good, I seemed fine while at work but mornings and evenings were my downfalls. I would wake up for work in the mornings and just start crying, I would cry while I was getting ready (proves very difficult when trying to apply mascara) and cry while I drove to work.
Work was okay because I could keep myself busy but once I’d got home I found my mood dipping again. I’d try and keep myself busy, tidy my room or cooking a new meal but I would always ask myself, what’s the point?
So recently I visited my GP with a view to starting my Fluoxetine again, the Dr. I saw was lovely and advised me to start off with a 20mg dose if I felt it was needed and to see her again in a few weeks time.
I’m not ashamed or annoyed at myself having to return back to my medciation, I know leaving it any longer without any intervention may make things 10x worse.
Thank you all very much for reading, and please, never feel ashamed if you feel you’d like to return to taking medication.